I have been reading a book by A.W. Tozer called, 'The Knowledge of the Holy'. It is a marvelous book. Each word has pricked my heart in more ways than I can count. One idea inpaticular has stuck with me the most and it is what Tozer calls the "essence of sin". Sin at it's very core is the battle of wills. Our will- or God's will. Tozer says it this way:
"A moral being, created to worship before the throne of God, sits on the throne of his own self- hood and from that elevated position declares, "I AM". That is sin in its concentrated essence;"
When we choose our will over God's will we've climbed upon a stolen throne. We have elevated ourselves above God. How often do we steal His glory? How often do we try to orchestrate our own lives without even giving God a second thought? When we do Tozer says we have "dethroned God and made ourselves supreme in the little kingdom of Mansoul".
All this is a lot to take in. I've been going over it in my mind for days and weeks now. I would be ashamed to count the times that I personally have stolen God's rightful throne & place in my life. If you would allow me I would like to share a small storyline that I've been playing over in my head since I read these thoughts from Tozer (Keep in mind this is not really print worthy- but I pray it is thought worthy!):
"I climbed upon my throne first thing today. I placed the Royal Crown upon my head and put the Royal Scepter in my hand. Not only do I look the part- I can play the part well -for you see I have no need for help- I can do and rule things myself because I'm the Queen of the Kingdom of Self.
My job as the Queen of the Kingdom Self is to patton my world the way 'I' think it should be. And just so you know- everyone else in the Kingdom of self will want things my way too- because they are sure to know that I rule as the Queen of the Kingdom of Self. The first thing on my to-do-list is to get the Kingdom of Self in tip top shape- making everyone obey the rules I have made. And of course they'll all obey for I'm the Queen of the Kingdom of Self. Each person will bow to my opinion and fulfill my needs. In case they've forgotten I'll be sure to remind them that I'm the Queen of the Kingdom of Self and of course queens should be honored and obeyed.
Walking around my Kingdom today I'm beginning to get a bit dismayed for everyone is not bowing to my commands or even seeing things 'my' way. Trouble is beginning to brew in the Kingdom because everything is not going 'my' way. Oh, what shall I do? It's not supposed to be this way. Shouldn't the Queen of the Kingdom Self have everything her way? I'm really not sure what is going on-it seems that everyone else who lives in the Kingdom of Self wants things 'their way'. Weren't they told? Don't they know that I am the Queen of the Kingdom of Self? To my dismay I can't have things my way for it appears that in the Kingdom of Self everyone has their own throne, crown & scepter. How can this be? It seems that in the Kingdom of Self everyone is out for their own self."
The sin of self. When I really got to thinking about it in God's Kingdom there is no room for all of us to be wanting our own way. Just think how many things would go undone if we were all looking out for just ourselves instead of looking for God's best for ourselves and others- which in case you didn't know has everything to do with self denial. Remember the words from Jesus that goes like this "Anyone who wants to come after me he must deny himself pick up his cross and follow me".
Can you think what our families and churches would look like if we all took on the attitude of the Queen of the Kingdom of Self? Think through your average daily routine- who are the people you have contact with, think of just the normal stranger you meet in the grocery store, think about your co-workers, family and church family. Now, think for a momenta if every person you had daily contact with only fulfilled only their own interests and never the interests of another. What would your world look like? Scary when you really get to thinking about it! But, you know- our culture at large is teaching us that we deserve to have things 'our' way. Think for a moment about what television is like today, what advertising is like and think of the corporate world & how ruthless climbing the latter of success can be. We live in a world that many times can drive us to believe that we really should have things just the way we want them. God's Word tells us something completely contrary to what our world is dishing out. God's world tells us self denial and servant hood is the way to climbing the Kingdom latter of success. How opposite this is to our natural nature to look out for our own!
I could go on and on about the world of the Queen of the Kingdom of Self and how the Kingdom is a mess! How when we work against the will of God to push our will- we hurt God, ourselves and others. How destructive self can be!
I hope you will take some time to think about the ideas from this post! I've written them at a rather hurried speed but hopefully you can use them to think even deeper about the subject of self and its rightful 'crucified' place.
Blessings to all,
Lori
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